Tuesday = Learning

I spent this afternoon on the sunny campus of Arizona State University.


Mr. Blum, my tour guide, pointed out the many attractions.
"Look around," he said. "This...is learning."

I watched the kids--all wearing fashions--drink coffee and do homework at the campus Starbucks.

Then I went to Marketing 301 and listened to Prof. Spiers talk about the Evolution of Marketing. Fascinating!


Then I saw this guy.



Hey there, fella. What does your little sign say? Let's take a closer look...




*please note that at the bottom left-hand, it says "Baby Killing Women" on a sword. A sword! And all you Sports Nuts, keep this in mind on Super Bowl Sunday: God will be judging you.
This guy, in a fit of emotion, called some kid a "tutti-fruity." Apparently God isn't the only judge in town.


As I left campus, I admired Gammage auditorium, designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. It is the very building that Kerry and Bush had their last debate before the 2004 election.

Double Sinks

In all the houses and apartments I have lived in, I miraculously managed to make it all work with a single bathroom sink. I don't know how I did it...brushing teeth at least twice a day, washing face and hands, and an occasional delicate-clothes washing...

Spending this winter in Arizona, referred to as "Land of Plenty" by the locals, I am finally able to function with some semblance of normalcy in my daily routine. Teeth are brushed and face is washed at left sink ONLY. Hand washing ONLY at right side. Vase filling at left side. Right sink as a receptacle for spitting unwanted tastes or blood drawn from incidental (no pun intended), aggressive flossing. Right side for washing items, such as combs and hairbrushes, after each use.

Distant is the day that I wash any garment in the sink for there is a washing machine and dryer here, nestled comfortably in their very own room.

I shudder to think of the abhorring conditions I will encounter whence back in New York. If only there was more space in the apartments to include double sinks so that I would not be forced to, once again, conduct my grooming as a complete savage, devoid of dignity and utterly lacking self-respect. If only, I say!

Plate Joining Biscuits

What is a Biscuit Joiner used for?
A Biscuit joiner is a woodworking tool used to join two pieces of wood together.

What Types of Joints are Biscuit Joiners used for?
The most common joints are:
Edge to Edge (i.e. table tops), Miter Joints (i.e. picture frames), Butt Joinery (end to end), Corner joints (i.e. drawers), T Joints (i.e. book shelf)

(information provided by woodzone.com)

They said "Butt Joinery." I don't care how "mature" you are...that's funny.

Meet Mrs. Havemeier, Fruit Bearing Tree

Her arms are so full of leaves and baby tangerines!
Look delicious? Think again.
The fruit will not be be ready for a couple months yet.

Recently, I asked Mrs. Havemeier, who insisted I call her Elsa, if she would object to me picking and consuming the tangerines once they were mature. Our conversation follows:

Elsa: Nein!

Me: Oh. So you speak German.

Elsa: Ja. Ich spreche mehrere Sprachen.

Me: You are a fancy tree. You don't happen to speak English...

Elsa: Ziemlich!

Me: Which means...what exactly?

Elsa: I will speak with you English.

Me: Okay, great. So then you don't object if I eat your tangerines in March?

Elsa: No, no. I grow them for animals to eat. You are animal, no?

Me: Yeah, I am. I'm not like, (making claw hands) Grraouw! (laughing) I'm not a Wild Beastie! (more claws) Rrrearw!

Elsa: You think you're funny?

Me: Me? Yeah, no. No.

Elsa: Mm-hmm.

Me: I hear that sometimes, during scientific experimentation, I've read this somewhere but I don't remember where, that when scientists play music for plants they grow really well and I was thinking that if I played music or sang to you or something like that, that you'd be really happy and the tangerines would become the most nectareous you have produced to date.

Elsa: You want to sing to me?

Me: Sure--if it will make you happy.

Elsa: There are names for people who sing to trees. If you sing to me, people will talk.

Me: Yes, but we will have the last laugh when the fruit of our labors is the SWEETEST EVER!

To be continued...

Dusk All Over

There was a bar where my friend, Emily, and I liked to stop whenever we were hanging out in Adams Morgan/DC. We liked it because it had a jukebox that played Procol Harum's "Whiter Shade of Pale." There was a pool table, a table table, some chairs, and a few feet of dance floor beside the music. We would go in there to play that song and take a few turns 'round the floor.

One loud and crowded night, I find myself dancing with a jazzy old-timer.
He leans into my ear at one point and howls, "Ooo baby! You smell like must-ah-Rrr!"
I look at him, embarrassed and shocked, and holler back, "Did you just say I smell like MUSTARD?"
"No baby!" he looks offended. And confused. "I say you smell like MUSK ALL OVER!"

Oh. Right.
Thanks.




(Dusk All Over)

Free Hands

This is Zach's hand on a steering wheel.

It also might be an arm that is attached to his visor, reaching down and steering. I think car companies should start making Retractable Steering Arms in case you have to take off your sweatshirt or put your hair in a ponytail and you don't have knees or someone in the front seat with you to grab the wheel. (Is there a name for that maneuver? I bet teenagers have a name for that.)



Hey, look at my new present.











The phone piece really works. I was having a pretend conversation with the photographer to illustrate what the phone looks like while in use. It keeps the radiation away from my head.




Zach's hand was totally posing for this picture.

Happy Birthday!

It is the birthday of this blog.
This blog is a Capricorn, which means it's good at business and a loyal friend. It is most compatible with Taurus, Scorpio, Pisces and Virgo blogs.

Now, to redirect attention to a most important Capricorn: Martin Luther King, Jr.
For January 16 my motto is: WWMLKD?*
Every decision I make, I will make it with MLK in mind. I'm going to have to make some gross assumptions on some things, i.e. tea or coffee? But on the important issues I'll have a clear plan of action set before me by the great leader. Thanks MLK, I dedicate this day of mine to you and your efforts towards humanity.
*(Motto is not limited to 1/16/06. Dates and participation may vary.)


TIP OF THE WEEK:
If you want to look really sweet and cute when you’re walking down the street, say, “I love you too, Grandma” into your phone. Strangers will respond really well to that. Especially if you’re a guy. And the stranger is me.

Thanks for reading this, you. More to come!